Shape Up Your Sexlife

I have a hard time finding ways to motivate people.  You tell them being healthy is good for you and they say “sure, but I want my ice cream!”  You tell them they’ll live longer and they say “sure but I want to watch TV.”  So I’ve been looking for ways in which to give people something more immediate as motivation.  Something that will make them think “YES! Now I want to get healthier.”  Well, I think I’ve finally figured it out.

Being healthy will lead to MORE and BETTER sex!

Got it?!?!  Does that get your attention?!?!  Good, now let’s listen to the expert.

Today’s guest post is brought to you by NYC fitness expert Jennifer Cassetty who took some time away from her busy schedule to answer a few of my questions.

Does a healthy lifestyle improve sex for both men and women?

• Yes - Studies have indicated that everything you do in life is all connected. A healthy lifestyle and regular exercise can rev up hormones, relieve stress, reduce fat and reenergize the body.  That helps increase blood flow to the certain body parts, priming men and women for a better sexual performance.

How does a healthy lifestyle improve sex for men?

• Exercise and living a healthy lifestyle, in general, can pique desire for couples and make relationships more enjoyable. The results of exercising can be one of the best gifts for yourself and your partner. It builds confidence because you physically look better and you have the energy to perform with your partner.
• For men specifically, eating right and staying active increases blood flow to that certain body part, reducing the chances of being impotent in the bedroom.
• Adding exercise adds confidence that you need to take charge and satisfy your partner. Women like men that exude that semi-aggressive trait that turn women on. In order to do that without being too cheesy, you need confidence. Having a physically fit body gives you that needed confidence some may lack.

How does a healthy lifestyle improve sex for women?

• For women, living a healthier lifestyle improves sex tremendously for them. When you take care of your body (can apply to men as well), you heal faster and with the addition of sex, it can increase speed cell repair and regeneration.
• An extra benefit of having a healthy lifestyle and active sex life is that you will have fewer migraines. Healthier women have sex more often because it actually eases headaches, says Randolph W. Evans, M.D., clinical professor of neurology at the Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. (Gal’s note - I find this amusing for some reason)

Does sex count as exercise?

• Yes! Having sex allows you to burn calories, reduce stress and increase your energy. Be adventurous and try different positions with your partner. Depending on your position and endurance, you can tone your glutes, abs and triceps. For more information on which positions can tone your body (or which exercises enhance your performance), you can contact me by visiting www.jennifercassetty.com.

Other than the names, do the exercises you mention have specific benefits on sexual performance or pleasure?

• It all depends on the body type. The exercises I provided were general and could be used by just about anyone (after approval from your doctor). To get a specific work out designed for your body type, feel free to contact me, and I’ll be more than happy to design one.

Are there foods you recommend to people looking to improve their libido and sexual appetites / performance?

• There are plenty of foods that are both healthy and improves sexual appetite. For instance, bananas are tasty and have a marvelous phallic shape that reminds us of something special. Bananas have potassium that helps with your sex drive.
• Chocolate was once referred to by the Aztecs as “nourishment of the Gods”. Chocolate contains antioxidants that help in reducing the risk of cancer.
• Ginger should also be used more in meals. It is a stimulant to the circulatory system. Perhaps a stir-fry with freshly grated ginger can stir something spicy up in the bedroom later.
• A glass or two of wine can greatly enhance a romantic interlude. Wine relaxes and helps to stimulate our senses. Drinking wine can be an erotic experience. Let your eyes feast on the color of the liquid. Caress the glass, savor the taste on your lips.

Do these tips apply to people of all ages? Even seniors?

• Yes – they are for every age group, however, I strongly recommend you consult with your doctor before beginning any new lifestyle change and exercise routine.

I Am A Failure…

Oh, those deadly words, I have failed.  My goals lie shattered at my feet and my dreams are ruined.  Everything is gone, hope are dead and lost.  What happened you ask to bring about such dire consequences?  What horrible thing could have occurred that would ruin my future and demolish my best laid plans?  The answer is simple, I went back to diet coke.

Yes, that sweet sweet taste of caffeine laden chemical water lured me into its warm embrace one more time and today I found myself buying not one but TWO bottles of Coke Zero while waiting for my flight out of Austin airport.  I am a failure and the shiny black and red bottles are evidence to that failure.  Surely my life is done.

But Wait!

What about my other carefully laid out goals?  What about my incestuous love affair with chocolate?  Has that too returned into my life?  what about my old habits of consuming two medium domino’s pizzas for dinner?  Am I back to the chicken kickers?  And if not, isn’t my failure to kick the Coke habit a signal of my complete lack of willpower?  Should I not give in now while I can still do so gracefully and kick back with a bag of Lindt Truffles and a bucket of KFC?

Not So Fast…

Yes, the Coke is back, however, not as bad as it was before.  While I did drink some around lunch time, I no longer consume it all day long.  Also, while I may still imbibe my addictive chemical water, I did in fact kick the sugar habit.  I’m chocolate free now and plan on staying that way.  What about my exercise habits?  Still going strong!  What about my increased consumption of vegetables?  Yep, still good.  What about my decreased consumption of processed junk food?  Not a bucket of KFC or a carton of Domino’s in sight!  So am I really a failure?

Of Course Not!

A good baseball player has a batting average in the 300’s.  That means they get on base around 30% of the time.  A good basketball player has a free throw average in the high 60’s.  Barack Obama lost quite a few of the early primary contests and even some of the later ones.  Napoleon won most but not all battles.  Spielberg puts out amazing movies but he also puts out the occasional piece of dreck.  So why am I a failure because I had a bit of coke?

Why should I give up on everything when it’s just one thing that’s not working.  This is madness and in times past I bought into this mindset hook, line and sinker.  I failed at one little thing and I saw it as a reason to stop trying everything.  I had a bit of chocolate and used that as an excuse to order five big macs.  After all, if they day is already ruined due to that chocolate, might as well ruin it all the way!

Time and again I see people make the same mistakes I used to, which is part of the reason I started writing 60 in 3.  I see them take on an ambitious program of weightloss and fitness.  I see them set goals and divise master plans with a dozen different projects.  Then I see them fail and the chain reaction starts.  One little failure causes a bigger, which causes a bigger which causes abandonment of the whole plan.  Is this smart?  Of course not, but it is human.

Focus On The Successes

It’s time to stop focusing on the failures.  Yes, you’re going to fail.  Accept that now and move on.  If you’re not occasionally failing, you’re not really trying.  Your goals should be something you can only barely achieve and sometimes you’re going to fail.  That’s fine.  Accept the failure, learn from it and move on to try again.  More importantly, don’t use one failure as an excuse to abandon all hope.  Don’t use one setback as a reason to turn your back on all the things that are working.

Yes, I had a coke.  I gave in to my need for caffeine and bought a coke zero.  I’m not proud of that, but I also know that I did NOT buy that bag of M&M’s, I did NOT buy that bag of potato chips, I DID work out yesterday even though I was pressed for time, I DID have a healthy breakfast today, I DID order the salad yesterday even though I was in a Texas bar.  All of these things are a success.  All of them are reasons to celebrate and one, or two, little coke bottles shouldn’t change that.

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If you’re reading this, take a few seconds and let us know about your successes.  Use the comments and write down something you’ve accomplished today.  It doesn’t even have to be health or fitness related.  just write down something you feel was a success.  I’ll start…

Self Medicating With Food - AKA, Emotional Eating

It’s 8pm, I’m alone in the office.  I’m frustrated by my inability to get our software product to do what it should.  I’m lonely, upset over a recent breakup.  I’m tired, suffering from lack of sleep due to a cold.  All of this leads to anger, rage, sadness, frustration and a whole host of other negative emotions.  What do I do?  I reach for the candy and caffeine.  The two things I am trying most to avoid are my friends when I’m in need.

They’re there when I’m sad and they’re there when I’m tired.  They wake me from my stupor and cheer me up from my depression.  The cold Coke Zero feels so wonderful on my tongue and the sweet sensation of the chocolate is like an escape from all that is bothering me.  I chow down on the first piece of chocolate and then the second and the third, each one giving me a brief moment of joy followed by the return of the feelings of loss.  I drink one can of coke and feel uplifted, energetic.  I drink another and feel even happier.  With the coke, the buzz lasts longer but even there it fails and on the ride back home I’m more depressed and alone than I ever was.

Worse, now I’m guilty over binge eating.  I beat myself up for giving up on my goals.  I question my will power and my resolve and this all feeds into my depression and feelings of anger and frustration.  Of course I failed at work, of course I’m sick, of course she broke up with me.  Look at me, I can’t even control my own hunger.  Who would love such a man?  How can such a man be successful at work?  How can such a man be healthy?

And the cycle repeats.  The emotions get worse.  The urge to eat gets stronger.  The need to feel better, if only for a second, if only for a minute more while I eat that candy or while I fly high on that caffeine.  I need it now more than ever, because I know that for a brief second, a brief glorious second, it will all go away and I’ll feel good.  I’ll feel cheerful and happy while the sugar and caffeine course through my veins and trigger hormonal responses.  I know I’ll crash again but that’s in the future.  I need my fix and I need it now.

Addiction

If that sounds like the account of an addict, that’s because it is.  Emotional eating is in many ways similar to a drug addiction.  It is the consumption of stimulants (usually sugar and / or caffeine) to trigger chemical changes in the body which simulate although are not quite the same as happiness.  We’re sad and therefore we eat.  We don’t deal with the issues that make us sad and we may in fact be making them worse, but the food allows us to feel happy for just that brief second, that wonderful moment when all else disappears.

I suppose that on a small enough scale, emotional eating isn’t a bad thing.  If once a year you break down on the anniversary of a loved ones’ death and eat a favorite dish, that’s one thing and no one will ever begrudge you that.  Unfortunately, many of us, myself included, use emotional eating as a crutch for every day life.

• Feel tired in the morning?  Grab a muffin and a coffee.
• Falling asleep at work in the afternoon?  Grab a coke or some cereal.
• Tired and frustrated by your social life?  Go for that gallon tub of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food.
• Annoyed by your coworkers?  Walk to the kitchen and grab some of that free cereal.
• Want to avoid work you hate?  Go out for a snack.

We all do it and some of us do it quite a bit.  I used to do this all the time, quite literally.  Since there was a period of my life when life essentially “sucked”, or so it seemed like to me, I would eat junk food all the time.  I’ve improved quite a bit since then but there are occasions when I still find myself self medicating my depression away.  Except that, in terms of medication, emotional eating is a very poor one.  It doesn’t solve the problem.  In fact, it usually makes it worse.

A Better Option

What worked for me?  A few things, and keep in mind that I still have issues with emotional eating sometimes, so any suggestions would help.

• Keep temptation away - Can’t emotionally eat that bucket of ice cream if it’s not at home and, if you’re tired and depressed, you’re unlikely to go out and buy one.  Make sure junk food is not conveniently located.
• Solve your problems - There are a million and one ways to solve most problems, even the big ones.  Instead of eating, focus on those things that make you unhappy and come up with ways to resolve them.
• Find a new outlet - For me, this was walking.  When I feel annoyed and frustrated, I try to take a walk.  I usually come back feeling much better and I’m less likely to eat.
• Keep a reminder of the good things near - For me, it’s a picture of my puppy.  The same one you can see in this post.  Looking at her makes me smile.  It makes me happier and that eliminates some of the need to emotionally eat.
• Talk to a therapist - Yah, I know, therapist?!?!  What, am I crazy or something?  There’s nothing wrong with me!  I mean, sure, I’m depressed and so I eat which makes me even more depressed so clearly I’m doing self destructive things but there’s NOTHING wrong with me.  Well, maybe there isn’t, in which case you’ll waste a few bucks.  Then again, who knows, maybe it can help.

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The best solution to emotional eating is to solve the problem that’s causing the bad emotions.  I’m no expert at this but I have been making progress with my own issues.  Sometimes it’s as easy as writing them down and then writing down what, if anything you can do about them.  Try it and see if it works.  At the very least this little exercise will keep you from reaching for the chocolate

The Problems With Body Image

Over the next few weeks on 60 in 3, I’m going to write a series of articles about body image, what it means, how important it is, the kind of problems it can lead to if badly handled and my own struggles with it.  I wanted to start out this series with the following video:

It’s from the Dove evolution campaign and it’s a bit old (2006) but I think it makes an amazing point.  What we see today as the “ideal” body image is nothing but a manufactured illusion.  Take a look at this video and see the transformation this woman undergoes.

Some of this transformation was done through makeup, some through technology.  Either way, she is made into something that is impossible for her to achieve on her own.  This is a model, someone picked for beauty, and yet even she must be artificially transformed into something she could never be.  This is what we’re sold every day.  This is what our children see every evening.  This is what we’re told we should look like.  Women get more of this than men, but men get enough of it too.  One look at some recent action movies (300 anyone?) and we can easily see that men too are bombarded with artificially enhanced images of the “ideal” male physique that they must aspire to but can never achieve.

I’ve always said that looking good is a perfectly fine goal to use as motivation for being healthy.  However, like many things, this can be taken to an extreme which is both unhealthy and unrealistic.  That’s what I’d like to talk to you about in the next few weeks.

In the meantime, check out that video.

8 Reasons To Stay Healthy

Yes, we should be healthy.  Yes, we should exercise.  Yes, we should eat in moderation.  If we all know this, why do we have such trouble actually doing it?  Mostly because the reward for bad behavior is immediate.  More time to watch TV, more chocolate, less effort, more tasty food and so on.  That’s all right there in front of you while the rewards for healthy behavior are not.  What is health anyway?  How does it help me?  How does it provide me with a benefit?

Well, here are 8 immediate things you can think of when you’re faced with that bowl of candy or the new episode of Survivor.  Hopefully, they can motivate you towards the healthier choice:

Live Longer - Very few people actually want to die, at least that’s my assumption.  Live a healthier life and you will probably live longer.  Statistically, your life span goes up multiple years if you live healthier.

Live Better - Not only will you live longer but you will also enjoy that life more.  Again, living healthier reduces the risk of everything from diabetes to Alzheimer.  Not to mention the fact that it’s a lot easier to have fun when you’re not huffing and puffing after every step.

Have Better Sex - Ok, maybe this should go under the live better point but sex is important enough that I thought I should call it out.  There are numerous studies that show people in better health have better sex.  For you men out there, there’s a clear link between obesity and erectile dysfunction.  Think about that next time you’re reaching for the chocolates.

Look better - Sound shallow?  So what?   Unless you’re some zen master who has achieved mastery over every physical concern, you’re just like the rest of us.  You want to look good.  You want your partner, spouse, friends and random strangers to look at you and think “damn!  He/she has a great ass!” or some variation on this comment.  Guess what, you don’t need to be skinny to look good but you do need to be healthy.  Muscle tone looks great!

Save Money - A timely topic for this day and age.  Not only will you save money by avoiding all those candy bars, sodas and hamburgers you were going to buy, you’re also going to save money by avoiding all those doctors and medical bills.  Treat your body right unless you want to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars fixing it up.

See The World - There are some things in this world that you canNOT do if you’re out of shape.  If you’re overweight, you cannot scuba dive.  If you’re obese, you have to pay more to fly.  If you’re out of shape, you will never see the view from the top of El Capitan.  If you’re out of breath on the stairs, you will never experience the joy of climbing a mountain, surfing in Hawaii or hiking through the Italian Countryside.  Is that extra hour on the sofa watching survivor really worth foregoing all these things?

Save The World - Going healthy improves the environment in a number of ways.  It reduces waste, eliminates pollution and cuts down on your carbon footprint.  I believe the Heroes saying was “save the cheerleader, save the world”.  Well, my saying is “save yourself, save the world”.

Spend Time With Your Loved Ones - How much is an extra day with your wife or husband worth?  How much is one more week with your kids worth?  Earn those weeks by living well and living long.  Being healthy will help you do both of those things.

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Think about some of these things the next time you’re wondering if the trip to the gym is worth it.

Rage Against The Dying Of The Light!

A few years ago I was hiking with a coworker in the Santa Cruz Mountains.  We were doing a 21 mile trail with lots of uphills.  Here we were, two guys in our youth, filled with life and vigor.  We enjoyed every moment of that day with its incredible views and strenuous walking.  Right in the middle of our hike we encountered a man who seemed way too old to be doing this trail.  We walked with him for a while and shared some hiking stories.  Turns out, this man was 80+ years old.  He was walking the same trail we were, climbing the same uphills we were.  We were on track to finish this trail in 7 hours, he was going to take 9, but he was having the time of his life.

I want to be that man when I grow older, I want to live life to the fullest and never give up.

A Bit Of Poetry

There’s a poem by Dylan Thomas called “Do Not Go Gently Into That Good Night”.  It goes something like this:

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

It’s one of my favorites and the last two lines have been an inspiration to me on numerous occasions.  To me, rage against the dying of the light means don’t accept your fate.  Fight on, even when fighting seems pointless.  Even if you know the end is near, even if you know your time is past, keep fighting.  Grab life and don’t let go.  Refuse to accept your fate, refuse to go gently into the good night.

Refuse to accept that you’re too old for exercise, refuse to accept that an 80 year old shouldn’t be hiking the Santa Cruz Mountains, refuse to accept that it’s too late to be healthy, refuse to accept that you’re 40 and you will never look like you did when you were 20, refuse to accept that you’re a mother now and mothers can’t look sexy, refuse to accept that you’re sick or that you’re going to die.  As long as you’re alive, as long as you woke up this morning, then there’s a chance.  You can always turn your life around, just as long as you haven’t given up yet.  Even when everything seems hopeless, even when the end seems near, it’s still worth it to keep fighting.

Think about those words the next time you resign yourself to your fate.  Think how gently you’re going into that good night the next time you sit on the couch and remember your glory days.  Are you raging against the dying of the light or have you become resigned to your fate?  Are you fighting on or have you given up?  Believe me, I know how easy it is to give in, I know how tempting it is to just sit down and stop fighting.

Why?

Why keep going?  Why try to stay young?  Why try to stay in shape?  Why try to be healthy?  I’m not young anymore, why not just accept that?  Why not give in to inertia and entropy?  Why not let things go and go gently into that good night?  I know that feeling, I know how easy it is to give in.  I almost did that myself a few years ago, but I’m here to tell you that there are things worth fighting for.  Life is worth fighting for and your body is the thing that sustains your life.  Take care of it or you’ll find yourself going into that good night a lot earlier than you expected.

So rage against the dying of the light.  Keep fighting even if the end seems near.  That 80 year old man on the trail isn’t going gently into that good night and neither should you.

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Ironically, I first heard Dylan Thomas’ poem in a Rodney Dangerfield movie entitled Back To School.  Odd how we find the classics.  Rest in peace Rodney, I hope you’re getting more respect these days

Guest Post: Walling The Scale, by Roy Cohen of Emerge Fit

Today’s post is a guest article from Roy Cohen.  You can read more about Roy over at his site, Emerge Fitness.

Walling The Scales - (an unscientific study)

I speak often of how much I hate the scale for it’s cunning ability to deceive, discourage, and demoralize those who don’t use it correctly. The scale is the true serpent of fitness temptation.

The scale, like weaponry can be a great and powerful tool when used correctly. Also like weaponry, it can penetrate the fitness psyche with such force and abrasive consequences that a would be fitness success story never realizes her or his potential for the damage that is done to the inner fitness self .

I only recently purchased a scale for my studio, and at the request of a good friend and client. I have lived without a scale for the past 6 years because knowing my bodyweight or that of my clients has not been my concern. I can see my abs, I can still wear the same jeans I wore in high school, and I can run faster than my kid – why should my bodyweight matter? Still, the scale can be an effective tool when used correctly so I heeded my friend’s request and made the purchase.

Despite the presence of a scale in my studio, I have asked no student to step on it but one. It gathers dust in the corner and lives a lonely unused scale life — poor thing. I’m okay with that though. Again like weaponry, a forgotten scale is like a forgotten land mine — watch where you step.

With regard to accuracy, it’s a good scale I suppose – I paid nearly $200 for it, so it should be accurate. It’s nice too, my little scale. Aesthetically pleasing – lots of chrome, and an almost 1940s art-deco look to it, though it is digital. Chrome, and circular, the scale caught my eye quite a bit in the beginning. Still, I resisted the temptation to step upon it – I need not know.

After 6 months of passing it by and never being tempted, the metaphoric snake got the better of me, and I took a bite of the chrome apple in my studio – and several weeks ago I gave in to scale temptation; 172 lbs. I thought nothing of it because the last time I had been on a scale nearly a year earlier, I was 172 lbs. See? No need for a scale.

Well, a couple of days had passed and wouldn’t you know, I decided to step on my scale again to confirm my 172 lbs. – oops, 176lbs. Wow, whatta fat tub lard I am, huh? Four pounds in two days? It was on. Since I could think of no significant departures from my systematic eating behavior, a little more cardio would be in order until 172 lbs. was back in my command. I made no eating changes at all, simply wanted to get back to my 172 lb. home by burning extra calories.

Three days later I stepped on the little pedestal of temptation once again, and boom, 169 lbs. Wow again, a little extra cardio served me very well it seemed. Seven pounds down in three days? Very cool, this meant I could eat more to get back to my beloved 172. Carne asada burrito with extra guac, here I come!

And there I went, 175 lbs. Came and went for three or four days in this fashion; more food/less food, more cardio/less cardio, more bodyweight/less bodyweight. Then it hit me and I realized I was caught in the deadly rip-current of scale ebb and flow. To reason my way out of this, and support my commitment to a non-scale way of life for me and my students, yesterday I chose to weigh myself 5 times. Here we go:

6:00am: 171 — 10:00am: 174 — 2:00pm: 173 — 5:00pm: 176 — 9:00pm: 173

In a day, I gained and lost a total of 10 lbs.

Fluids mostly, and digesting foods. Sweat lost from hard cardio = weight lost. Forty-four ounce cup of coffee twice = weight gained. Food in/food released = pounds gained/pounds released. For these reasons, I will always suggest that should you choose to use a scale in your weight loss effort, weigh yourself no more than every 3-4 weeks. Allow enough time between weigh-ins to demonstrate real weight loss – separate and distinct from the 10 pounds which can be gained and lost in a single day.

My experience yesterday, above all other reasons is why I recognize how deceiving the scale can be. This is simply to serve as a non-scientific reminder that even an educated and disciplined fitness enthusiast can fall victim to the scale.

When it comes to the scale, it’s not what’s on the scale display which matters most, it’s who’s standing on the scale — and what they did to ensure improvement. Be well, and be well and clear of the scale.

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Gal’s Note - I completely agree with Roy.  As a little experiment, I have been weighing myself every day for the past few weeks and the information I have seen is pretty much useless.  Weigh in once a month if you must but daily weigh ins do nothing except mislead and demotivate.

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