Negative Motivation

I’m stupid, I’m fat, I’m weak, I’m no good.  How many times have you told yourself this?  How many times have you felt guilty after eating too much and yelled at yourself, “you’re so weak, you have no will power”?  How many times have you told your friends, “you’re fat, you need to get in shape”?  How many times have you heard your mother telling you “no one will ever love you if you look like that”?  There are a million examples of negative motivation like this and it’s ALL BAD.

If you are using negative motivation as a way of getting yourself on the path to health, please, stop now.  There is nothing worthwhile down this path.  You’ll never be good enough, you’ll never be thin enough, you’ll never be pretty enough if you keep doing this.  At best, you’ll end up failing and going back to your unhealthy habits.  At worst, you’ll end up with some serious issue like an eating disorder.

New Age Crap

Yes, I know, some of you are already wincing.  There goes Gal again with his new age junk.  I know, it sounds familiar.  Never tell a child he made a mistake, never tell them they’re wrong and so on.  No, that is not in fact what I’m saying.  I have no problem with admitting a mistake and I have no problem with admitting that I’m wrong.  I do have a problem with saying I’m an idiot over and over and expecting that to somehow motivate me.

I know that I still need to lose a bit more weight.  I’m getting there but it’s a gradual process.  However, do you think that I look in the mirror every day and tell myself “oh wow, you look fat.  How could you let yourself get this way?  Why can’t you lose the weight faster?  Why are you such a loser?”  Not at all.  I tell myself “I feel great.  What an amazing change I’ve made over the past few years.  I’m really looking forward to the next few years when I’ll get rid of the last of this excess weight”.  I have no problem admitting that I made a mistake when I let my health go.  I have no problem admitting that I made a mistake when I stopped exercising and ate nothing but junk food.  However, I am NOT going to let that ruin my self image.  I am NOT going to let that drive me into thinking that I’m no good.

The minute you start thinking this way, you’ve essentially given up on yourself.  You’ve told yourself, I’m no good, I’m worthless.  I’m sorry, but weightloss or exercise is not going to fix that.  If you’re at this point, you might want to talk to professional because I can’t really help you.  I can however tell you that negative reinforcement does NOT work.  So if you find yourself using this kind of reinforcement on yourself, your friends, your children or anyone else, stop now.  It’s ok to point out mistakes, but it’s not ok to make the other person feel worthless.  This kind of motivation won’t work for you and it won’t work for them.  It may make them hate you, but it won’t make them do what you’re telling them to do.

Practice Being Positive

You’re overweight, out of shape, you eat too much and you don’t exercise enough.  It’s ok to admit that.  Clearly, you’ve made some mistakes along the way.  Now stop focusing on those mistakes and start focusing on fixing them.  Tell yourself “I’m going to get in shape!” “I’m going to feel great!” “I’m going to love being able to run again!” “I’m going to run a half marathon!” “I’m glad that I’m going to be in shape by next summer!”  Whatever it is, focus on the positive, focus on the things you’re going to accomplish and the things you’re going to enjoy.  Focus on your goals and how great it will feel when you accomplish them.  Whatever you do, stop telling yourself you’re worthless, you’re fat, you’re a loser or you’re pathetic.  Sooner or later, you’re going to start believing yourself, and then it will be too late.

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And yes, the above is based in large part on my own personal experience.  It took me years to break out of this habit but I’m glad I did.

And thank you to Workout eBooks for their consideration of a 60 in 3 article for their next carnival.

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