Ok, so maybe I’m dating myself a bit with that post heading, but it seemed appropriate. If you get the joke, great, if not, look it up 
However, old public service commercials are not actually what I wanted to talk about. Instead, I would like to talk about why we do the things we do.
See, back in 2003, I made a decsion to change my life. I started working out and I also started eating better. I also made other changes. I started paying attention to my career, my finances and my friends. In other words, I started putting my life back together after doing some serious damage to it over a span of many years. I had made a few attempts to do something similar before but they always failed, mainly because I wasn’t doing it for the right reasons.
Before 2003, I would try to fix my my life for someone else. For example, I had a girlfriend during some of these years and I would try to change my ways for her. Or maybe I would realize that I was disappointing my parents and then I would try to shape up so they would think better of me. Each and every time I did something like that, I failed. Do you want to know why? It’s simple, I was doing things for the wrong reasons and trying to change my life to please others. That never works.
I tell you this now for two reasons. First of all because I gave a presentation at work today about fitness. I won’t go over the whole thing but if I could summarize the 45 minute long talk, it comes down to two points:
- Motivation is the key to everything
- Only you can make the decision to change
The first point is pretty obvious I think. If you’re not motivated to do something, you’re never going to do it. The second point is more subtle but just as important. It basically says that only you can decide to change your life. Other people may help and provide encouragement but ultimately, the only way to change your life is if you want to. No one else can force you to change and if you’re trying to make a change to please someone else, you’re going to fail.
If you’re trying to get in shape because you wish to make your wife happy or because your friends are pushing you to, you’re going to fail. If you’re trying to get in shape because the magazines are telling you it’s smart or because Gal on 60 in 3 tells you you’ll die at an early age if you don’t, you’re going to fail. The only way you’re going to succeed is if you yourself want to change. You have to willingly and consiously make the decision to change or else it’s never going to work.
The first thing before making any change is to determine if you want to do it. Are you happy with your life right now? Can you see your life in 20 years if you don’t make this change? Are you happy with how you think your life will turn out if you don’t make this change? If you answer these questions and come out with “I don’t really want to make this change” you’re going to fail. It doesn’t matter how much you know that you should, unless you really want to, you’re going to fail. It doesn’t matter that you know the smoking is killing you, or your shopping is bankrupting you or your habits are destroying your marriage or your overeating is causing your health to fail. All that doesn’t matter unless you really want to change. Knowing is not the same as wanting and wanting is what gets you to the doing.
###
The other reason I’m saying this now is because I’m going through some changes in my life. I’m realizing that I’m not done working out some of the problems that have held me back. They’re not fitness related this time and so I’ll spare you the details, but the idea is the same. In the past, I’ve never had the will or the motivation to face these problems, I knew that I should, I knew that they were destroying my life, but I never faced them head on because I never wanted to. Well that stops today. I want to fix my problems, I know how and I’m going to do it.
What do you want to change in your life? What’s holding you back?
I agree with everything you say Gal, but will also add this as it relates to exercise, and people who have achieved some success in fitness, but have trouble staying motivated — which can be very hard also.
Sometimes the best motivation one can have to continue an exercise program and good eating, is to actively envision their life without it. Remeber — take time to remeber what life was like and how you felt when Twinkies were a breakfast food. Remeber and consider what it felt like to run out of breath climbing the stairs. Picture yourself 30, 40, 80 pounds heavier and look yourself in the eyes.
When I feel like I’m already in “good enough shape”, I often stop and motivate myself to keep going by envisioning what I don’t want to be. Always true though, you must always do it for YOU!
Thanks so much for the reminder of what it takes to at least start making a change. Motivation is definitely my main problemo when it comes to being consistent with working out and I’m always on the lookout for ways to stay motivated.