I’ve been talking about personal improvement this week and how it relates to fitness and health. We started out with not caring about strangers’ opinions, moved on to looking within and today we’re going to finish with the most important lesson of all, honesty.
What Is Honesty?
First of all, I’m not talking about your work here. Believe me, I’m in marketing, considered by some to be a profession rather low on the honesty scale. What I’m talking about is honesty with yourself and with the people who matter. Some of that looking within post was all about examining yourself and finding out why you do the things you do. Well, once you figure that out, what good is it if you’re not going to be honest about it?
My Brother
I have a brother who I love very much. He’s older by four years and many times throughout my life, he’s taken care of me. I still remember dragging a mattress over to his bedroom when I was little because I was afraid of the dark. He’d let me sleep there to feel safe. In the past ten years, my brother and I grew apart somewhat. We were both busy with our own lives, both occupied with things that the other was not aware of. Which made me a bit hesitant when it came to talking to him.
However, there were many things that I wanted to say to my brother. I wanted to thank him for helping me all those times. I wanted to ask his opinion on various problems I was facing. I also wanted to help him out with his own fitness issues that he was trying to face on his own. And yet, I held back. We would meet, we would talk, but we would never really talk about anything more than the weather, politics and the occasional movie. We were never honest and open.
A Few Weeks Ago…
And then something happened. What happened is private and I’m not going to share it here, but it was a crisis in my own life (which explains these self improvement posts over the past week). Who was there to help me out and pick me up? My brother. All it took was one call and he was back to being the close and supportive brother I thought I had lost. Since then we’ve talked about everything from our childhood to our personal lives, and yes, we’ve shared our problems. He’s helped me face mine and I’m helping him with his.
Do you know what it took to do this? Honesty. I needed to tell him what was happening and that I needed help. I needed to tell him what I thinking and what was going on. I needed to tell him what I was worried about and what concerned me. It was honesty, plain and simple. He’s helped him immensely and I will always be here for him.
So…
Ahh yes, so what? What does all this have to do with fitness and health? Everything. Without honesty, you will never fix your problems. Without being honest with your loved ones, you will never get them to understand what you’re going through. Without telling your partner that you’re concerned about your and their health you’ll never get them to change no matter how many exercise bikes you buy them. Without telling your friends that you’re trying to lose a bit of weight because you dream of playing ball with your son, you’re never going to get them to lay off the beer and chips when you’re around.
Yes, you shouldn’t care about the opinions of strangers, but you should care about the opinions of your loved ones and close friends. They are the ones who shape your life, and without honesty they can’t help you shape it in the direction you’re trying to head.
But It’s Scary…
Oh yes, honesty is scary. It’s terrifying to talk to someone you really care about and who plays a large role in your life and tell them what frightens you. I think it might be especially terrifying for men since we’re taught to be strong, be silent and be tough. Well, guess what? Being tough won’t make the problem go away, nor will being strong and silent get your family to understand what you’re going through. Honesty and openess are the key to communication and communication is the key to good health, both physical and emotional.
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Don’t wait 20 years to learn your lessons like I did. Take the time to be honest and open about yourself. Believe me, you won’t regret it.
Another great one Gal. I actually have something to contribute here that I hope will help others too. I want to “second” what you said about telling others your fitness goals.
We put so much emphasis on devices, workouts, sets, reps, foods, shoes, etc., as building units for success in achieving health and fitness goals. I will suggest to your readers — the ones who are really struggling with getting started, or fostering any progress, that no exercise device, no workout scheme, not supplement or fitness magazine will help you as much as your support system will help you; friends, family, coworkers, etc. And for many who struggle to get started or make progress, it is often the fear of asking those people for that support which hinders them
I agree 10000% with Gal, open up to people, let them know your struggles, ask for their help. Today, make this a bigger priority than which type of cardio you choose. Today, add someone to your support system, and if you don’t have one yet, today is the day to open up and start a support system.
And if you are struggling with getting started, read this site daily — it is among the very best, and getting better!