Looking Within

Sometimes, we have to look within for the reasons why we do the things we do.  We keep looking for simple reasons, simple external things that would explain why we hate exercise, why we overeat even when we shouldn’t.  We read articles about lack of sleep and how it can cause a hormonal imbalance which causes hunger and we say “ahh, that must be it.”  We read research about carbohydrates and how they promote hunger for more carbs and we think “got it, now I know what’s causing it.”

We do this because we’re still looking for the easy way out.  We’re still looking for something we can point to and say, “oh, that’s it.  Well, that’s an easy fix then, I’ll just get more sleep and eat less candy and everything will be fine.”  It’s natural to think that way and it might be true in some cases, but in many cases, we need to look a bit deeper than that if we truly want to understand and improve ourselves.

Me

When I was growing up, I craved my parents’ approval above all else.  It’s natural I think, most kids look up to their parents and it’s normal to try and gain their approval, to be more like them, to get them to compliment us and to tell us that we’re doing well.  My father ate fast and I remember how he would smile when he saw that I was eating fast as well, trying to emulate him.  My mother loved to cook and I remember how happy she was when I would ask for more food.  Put the two together and you have my eating issues.  I eat too fast and too much.

Am I Ashamed Of This?

Maybe, I’m not sure.  Certainly shame or fear of shame could be one of the reasons why it took me so long to really look into my behavior and figure out what I was doing and why.  Maybe I just didn’t want to admit that I had a problem or maybe I didn’t want to think about it.  I’m honestly not sure why I waited such a long time to really examine this issue.  I know that I kept looking for that easy solution, the lack of sleep studies, the carbs, the multiple meals a day.   I kept looking for easy solutions rather than looking within myself.  Now that I see what the problem is and why I have it, I feel no shame.

I did nothing wrong.  There is absolutely no problem with a child trying to gain the approval of his parents and there is nothing shameful or horrible about carrying childhood habits into adulthood.  I see that now, and I also see how facing this and understanding it has helped me come to terms with who I am and how I can better myself.  I’m an adult now, with an adult’s communication ability.  I don’t need to emulate my father, I just need to talk to him.  I don’t need to overeat my mom’s cooking, I just need to tell her that I enjoyed the small amount that I ate.  I understand all that now.

Look Within Yourself

Yah, I know, I sound like some wannabe Jedi Master telling you to master the force within you.  Well, who cares.  It took me a long time to figure out why I did the things I did and part of the reason for 60 in 3 was for me to share that experience with you.  So here I am telling you to look within for some of the answers.  I can’t help you with this, I am not a psychologist or even a therapist.  I can only tell you that within you is a lot of information that you might be overlooking.

Looking within carries no shame.  It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you and it doesn’t mean you’re damaged or crazy or any of the stupid stuff that our society attaches to introspection.  It just means you’re self aware, consious of your thought processes and how they are generated.  That’s a good thing folks, not a bad one.

###

Take a moment, pause your life for just a second and take a good long hard look within.  Why do you do the things you do?  What started those destructive habits you’re trying to fix?  Admitting you have a problem might be the first step to solving it, but I think figuring out the cause of the problem is a very good second step.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!