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There’s always hope.  Even in the darkest hour of the darkest day, there’s always hope.

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night, By Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Here are some articles from this week:

From the Diet Blog, here’s an interesting article which talks about self esteem and its impact on exercise.  I heartily agree.  Without self esteem, you’re going to give up at some point.
@The Diet Blog

Another one from the Diet Blog, this time comparing which is better, vegetarian, vegan or raw diets.  My personal opinion, any diet regime can be healthy as long as you’re smart about it and do the research. However, the more restricted you make that regime (I.E. Raw) the harder it is to balance.
@The Diet Blog

From Almost Fit we have this post about a cheap way to get a lot of organic vegetables.  I haven’t tried CSA’s myself but they seem like a great idea for both healthier eating and supporting local farming.
@Almost Fit

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I’ve been looking for a soccer game lately.  I used to play every Friday night at my old place of work, but since I switched jobs, I haven’t played in a regular game.  I tried to look online and see what was available but couldn’t find anything in my area.  I pretty much gave up on it when I accidentally stumbled on a site called Meet Up with an interesting slogan of “use the internet to get off the internet.”  I played around with the site a bit and I have to say, I’m impressed!

Meet up runs along a basic idea, providing people with a shared interest a place to discuss and set up times during which they can meet offline, hence the tag line.  Like many other internet sites, it’s a simple idea but quite useful.  What is the internet after all if not a communication tool?  A place to meet others who have similar interests to you?  Meet up takes this and moves it one step further.  It’s a place for you to meet people with similar interests and then go meet them off line to enjoy those interests.

Health Connection

So what does this have to do with health?  Well, I entered in my zip code to see how many meet up groups were in my area.  The answer, 806.  Great, but what about fitness related ones?  Out of those, 67 dealth with health & support and another 62 were about sports & recreation.  I found hiking clubs, yoga groups, a morning tai chi group and yes, even a soccer meet up.  To me, this is what the internet is all about.  It provides you with a place to find people and information you would not have had access to before, and then enables you to use that information in your off line life.

So go ahead and try meetup.com.  Who knows what fun groups are in your area.  And if you can’t find a group you’re interested in, why not start one and see who joins?

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And yes, I did eat a bit too much yesterday. 

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I read an interesting article on the IF Life yesterday called “Things Your Personal Trainer Won’t Tell You“.  My first reaction, as you can see by my first comment, was “yah, you don’t need personal trainers at all!”  Well, now that I think about it, that was a silly response.  In fact, you can see that I added another comment to the article where I clarified some of my thoughts.  Still, I’m not sure if I got my point across, which is why I’m writing this post.

Interestingly enough, right after reading that article and commenting on it, I had lunch with a friend and we talked careers.  My friend mentioned that she was working with a coach to get her started on a career search.  This coach asked her questions, made her think about her goals and provided her with starting points for further follow up later.  I thought, “great idea, but couldn’t you do this yourself?”  Only later did I see the parallel with personal trainers.

You see, The IF Life article doesn’t apply to all trainers, only bad ones.  A bad personal trainer will indeed lead you down the wrong road.  They’re more fixated on the latest gadgets, the latest article they read in a magazine and the latest fitness fad to really help you.  A bad personal trainer will NOT tell you all those things the IF life article mentioned.  However, what about a good personal trainer?  How do you spot those and what do they do?

A Good Personal Trainer Will…

In short, a good personal trainer is a teacher and a guide.  They don’t tell you what to do, they give you options and talk to you about your goals.  They educate you about the proper ways to eat and exercise.  They show you a variety of exercise possibilities and discuss the pros and cons of all of them.  They understand you and what you’re trying to accomplish and they help you towards those goals by educating you about your body and how to treat it right.

A good personal trainer will:

1. When you first talk to a trainer, do they ask you about your goals?  Do they ask you about issues that you’ve had with exercise and proper diet in the past?  Do they ask why you’re trying to get in shape?  If so, they’re a good trainer.  They’re concerned with your specific needs and not just looking to treat you like yet another generic customer.
2. Does your trainer talk to you about diets and healthy eating?  If so, they’re a great trainer.  Remember, being fit and healthy is part exercise and part healthy eating.  Doing one without the other is a mistake and a good trainer recognizes that.  Yes, they’re mostly concerned about your exercise habits, but they should also be talking about your eating.
3. Does your trainer explain to you why you do certain exercises?  If so, they’re a good trainer.  They’re trying to teach you about your body so that one day you won’t need them.  That’s the mark of a good teacher.  It means you’re going to learn a lot from this trainer and not just follow them blindly.
4. Does you trainer keep enough variety in your workout to keep you interested but enough regularity to measure progress?  Change is good and trying new things is also good, but you should also do some things multiple times.  That allows you to measure progress and to improve your performance.
5. Does your trainer help you measure that progress and show you how to track it on your own?  Again, measuring progress is good and your trainer should help you measure and learn how to measure.  It’s not enough to just track your weight and a good trainer will show you how to monitor your fitness with other measurements.
6. Does your trainer understand you enough to motivate you or are they just standing there yelling “come on!  One more rep!”  Encouragement is fine and dandy but true motivation comes from understand your goals.  It’s a lot more motivating to hear “Ok, remember how you said you wanted to play ball with your son?  This exercise will give you the leg and back strength to do that” or “Let’s try for 7 reps today.  You were able to do 6 yesterday and I really think you can do one more today” than it is to hear “come on!  No pain, no gain!”
7. Does your trainer know what it’s like to face a health problem?  Wow, it’s great that they were a high school athlete and able to bench press a truck when they were in college but how does this make them better able to help you?  You don’t want a track superstar who was in great shape all their life, you want someone who understands your struggles and who can help you resolve them just like they did.  Don’t be afraid to ask your trainer about their history and don’t be put off if your trainer tells you that they once had a health problem themselves.  Those are quite possibly the best trainers out there.

There are many great personal trainers out there who are worth every dollar.  Just make sure you find one that’s good for you and not just good looking.

Addendum

I got an email from Roy, the owner of Emergefit in regards to this post.  Roy is a personal trainer and had this to say:

I think it’s important to understand that trainers can be divided into many categories. Two of those categories, the two most important in my opinion, are:

1 - Those who see fitness training as long-term career path.
2 - Those who see it as a “fun” job, a job “without working”, or, “something to do until the next job comes about”.

I have been working in fitness since 1979 — before it was even called fitness.  It is my belief, as well as my experience that a majority of the better trainers fall into the first group, and a majority of the lesser trainers fall into the second group. Perhaps I’m over simplifying, but I think this is valid.

Maybe this could be the 8th way to spot a good personal trainer

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And on a related note, I got on the scale today and it said 210lbs.  OH YAH!  That’s the lowest weight I’ve been at since highschool!!

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I’ve been struggling with the last few lbs of weightloss for the past two years.  I managed to lose quite a bit of weight until then but since then I’ve been stuck at 215 to 220.  I go up a couple of lbs and then I go down a couple of lbs.  I tried a variety of things, from changing my exercise routine to fine tuning my eating, and none of them worked.  However, over the past few weeks, I’ve been seeing some amazing results.  Today, when I got on the scale it read, 212lbs.  That’s the lowest I’ve been in my adult life as far as I know.  So what’s going on?  What changed?

Did My Eating Change?

Yes, there have been some changes in my eating.  I’ve almost completely cut out unhealthy snacks.  I’ve even reduced my consumption of chocolate, something I thought I’d never be able to do.  I’m also eating smaller meals in general and trying to keep meals in restaurants to a minimum.  I’ve also eliminated my daily consumption of diet, caffeine free coke.  Something I was never able to do before.

Did My Exercise Habits Change?

Not much.  I’m still working out five times a week and my routine hasn’t changed much.  I am walking a bit more these days as a result of our new home’s proximity to things like the train station and various stores.

So….

Overall, the biggest change has been in my eating.  I am no longer binging on food and I am no longer snacking.  That alone has made the difference.  Note that these were not huge differences.  I was not going out to some buffet every day of the week, nor was I consuming mass amounts of candy and chips between every meal.  In fact, these were two little changes but they added up to big results.

But There’s Something More

The real question is, why was I able to make these changes now as opposed to before?  I knew these habits were harmful, so why couldn’t I make the changes ages ago?  Well, I think part of it has to do with the past few weeks.  Through my own crisis, I was forced to take a look at my priorities.  Yes, I enjoy eating chocolate and yes, I liked snacking as a way of avoiding work I didn’t want to do.  I always knew that.  Now however I know that these are minor things when compared to the bigger things in life.  Somehow, I no longer get the same joy that I did out of eating candy and that’s no a bad thing.  You all might say that I’ve lost something that brought happiness into my life but I would say that you’re wrong.

I haven’t lost anything.  In fact, I’ve gained something.  I’ve gained perspective.  I now know that the small joy of eating chocolate or binging on junk food was taking away from the larger joy of living a full and happy life.  I can see how the small relief of snacking as a way to avoid work was taking away from my sense of accomplishment.

I don’t know yet where my life will end up, I’m still trying to resolve this mess I’ve gotten myself into, but I do know that I will never allow my priorities to be so messed up.  I will never allow the small joy of biting into a candy bar to be more important than the much more satisfying joy of an evening alone with my wife or long life filled with fulfillment and happiness.

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What are you avoiding?  What big part of life are you not letting yourself enjoy through the act of overeating or any other trivial act done purely for a momentary feeling?

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When I first started 60 in 3, I thought I was going to share all the things I had learned on my journey to better physical fitness and health.  I’ve been doing that for almost two years now and have found it very satisfying.  However, now I want to change things a little.  I’m going to start including a few more personal improvement articles of the kind I posted last week.  Most of the site is still going to be devoted to exercise and diet, but you will see the occasional self help post pop up.  Why?  Because improving myself over the last few years hasn’t been about the physical side alone.  There were many other ways in which I improved myself and they all tied together to make me the man that I am today.

And with that, here are some articles from this week that I thought you might find useful.

There’s no better article to illustrate how looking within and being honest are related to fitness than this one from CNN.  It’s about a woman named Karen Daniel and her struggle with weightloss.  Take a look folks and see how she goes from discovering why she overeats to overcoming this problem.  Also note how valuable being honest with her sister was.  Such a little thing but it made her see her problem in another way and caused her to take action.
@CNN

And on the opposite extreme, here’s an article from The IF Life about a new research that tries to convince us that we all need drugs.  Why is this the other extreme?  Because a lot of people hope to find a quick external solution through pharmaceuticals rather than looking within for a more difficult but ultimately much healthier answer.
@The IF Life

And one more along the same lines.  This one is from The Diet Blog and asks the question “Men: do you really want big muscles?“  It’s an interesting question.  Many men workout because they thing big biceps will make them better men through better looks.  Somehow, I doubt that.  If you want to look good, that’s great, but do it for yourself, not for anyone else.  Also, if you’re trying to impress women, bigger biceps are not the answer (HINT: most studies show that women look at faces, asses and shoulders far more often than they check out anyone’s biceps).
@The Diet Blog

And finally, congratulation Back In Skinny Jeans on your third anniversary.  It’s a bit late, I know, but well deserved.  Steph has been an inspiration to me for a while now and I appreciate all the good work she’s done at Back In Skinny Jeans.  Why not click on over there and see all the things she’s learned in the past three years?
@Back In Skinny Jeans

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I’ve been talking about personal improvement this week and how it relates to fitness and health.  We started out with not caring about strangers’ opinions, moved on to looking within and today we’re going to finish with the most important lesson of all, honesty.

What Is Honesty?

First of all, I’m not talking about your work here.  Believe me, I’m in marketing, considered by some to be a profession rather low on the honesty scale.  What I’m talking about is honesty with yourself and with the people who matter.  Some of that looking within post was all about examining yourself and finding out why you do the things you do.  Well, once you figure that out, what good is it if you’re not going to be honest about it?

My Brother

I have a brother who I love very much.  He’s older by four years and many times throughout my life, he’s taken care of me.  I still remember dragging a mattress over to his bedroom when I was little because I was afraid of the dark.  He’d let me sleep there to feel safe.  In the past ten years, my brother and I grew apart somewhat.  We were both busy with our own lives, both occupied with things that the other was not aware of.  Which made me a bit hesitant when it came to talking to him.

However, there were many things that I wanted to say to my brother.  I wanted to thank him for helping me all those times.  I wanted to ask his opinion on various problems I was facing.  I also wanted to help him out with his own fitness issues that he was trying to face on his own.  And yet, I held back.  We would meet, we would talk, but we would never really talk about anything more than the weather, politics and the occasional movie.  We were never honest and open.

A Few Weeks Ago…

And then something happened.  What happened is private and I’m not going to share it here, but it was a crisis in my own life (which explains these self improvement posts over the past week).  Who was there to help me out and pick me up?  My brother.  All it took was one call and he was back to being the close and supportive brother I thought I had lost.  Since then we’ve talked about everything from our childhood to our personal lives, and yes, we’ve shared our problems.  He’s helped me face mine and I’m helping him with his.

Do you know what it took to do this?  Honesty.  I needed to tell him what was happening and that I needed help.  I needed to tell him what I thinking and what was going on.  I needed to tell him what I was worried about and what concerned me.  It was honesty, plain and simple.  He’s helped him immensely and I will always be here for him.

So…

Ahh yes, so what?  What does all this have to do with fitness and health?  Everything.  Without honesty, you will never fix your problems.  Without being honest with your loved ones, you will never get them to understand what you’re going through.  Without telling your partner that you’re concerned about your and their health you’ll never get them to change no matter how many exercise bikes you buy them.  Without telling your friends that you’re trying to lose a bit of weight because you dream of playing ball with your son, you’re never going to get them to lay off the beer and chips when you’re around.

Yes, you shouldn’t care about the opinions of strangers, but you should care about the opinions of your loved ones and close friends.  They are the ones who shape your life, and without honesty they can’t help you shape it in the direction you’re trying to head.

But It’s Scary…

Oh yes, honesty is scary.  It’s terrifying to talk to someone you really care about and who plays a large role in your life and tell them what frightens you.  I think it might be especially terrifying for men since we’re taught to be strong, be silent and be tough.  Well, guess what?  Being tough won’t make the problem go away, nor will being strong and silent get your family to understand what you’re going through.  Honesty and openess are the key to communication and communication is the key to good health, both physical and emotional.

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Don’t wait 20 years to learn your lessons like I did.  Take the time to be honest and open about yourself.  Believe me, you won’t regret it.

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Sometimes, we have to look within for the reasons why we do the things we do.  We keep looking for simple reasons, simple external things that would explain why we hate exercise, why we overeat even when we shouldn’t.  We read articles about lack of sleep and how it can cause a hormonal imbalance which causes hunger and we say “ahh, that must be it.”  We read research about carbohydrates and how they promote hunger for more carbs and we think “got it, now I know what’s causing it.”

We do this because we’re still looking for the easy way out.  We’re still looking for something we can point to and say, “oh, that’s it.  Well, that’s an easy fix then, I’ll just get more sleep and eat less candy and everything will be fine.”  It’s natural to think that way and it might be true in some cases, but in many cases, we need to look a bit deeper than that if we truly want to understand and improve ourselves.

Me

When I was growing up, I craved my parents’ approval above all else.  It’s natural I think, most kids look up to their parents and it’s normal to try and gain their approval, to be more like them, to get them to compliment us and to tell us that we’re doing well.  My father ate fast and I remember how he would smile when he saw that I was eating fast as well, trying to emulate him.  My mother loved to cook and I remember how happy she was when I would ask for more food.  Put the two together and you have my eating issues.  I eat too fast and too much.

Am I Ashamed Of This?

Maybe, I’m not sure.  Certainly shame or fear of shame could be one of the reasons why it took me so long to really look into my behavior and figure out what I was doing and why.  Maybe I just didn’t want to admit that I had a problem or maybe I didn’t want to think about it.  I’m honestly not sure why I waited such a long time to really examine this issue.  I know that I kept looking for that easy solution, the lack of sleep studies, the carbs, the multiple meals a day.   I kept looking for easy solutions rather than looking within myself.  Now that I see what the problem is and why I have it, I feel no shame.

I did nothing wrong.  There is absolutely no problem with a child trying to gain the approval of his parents and there is nothing shameful or horrible about carrying childhood habits into adulthood.  I see that now, and I also see how facing this and understanding it has helped me come to terms with who I am and how I can better myself.  I’m an adult now, with an adult’s communication ability.  I don’t need to emulate my father, I just need to talk to him.  I don’t need to overeat my mom’s cooking, I just need to tell her that I enjoyed the small amount that I ate.  I understand all that now.

Look Within Yourself

Yah, I know, I sound like some wannabe Jedi Master telling you to master the force within you.  Well, who cares.  It took me a long time to figure out why I did the things I did and part of the reason for 60 in 3 was for me to share that experience with you.  So here I am telling you to look within for some of the answers.  I can’t help you with this, I am not a psychologist or even a therapist.  I can only tell you that within you is a lot of information that you might be overlooking.

Looking within carries no shame.  It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you and it doesn’t mean you’re damaged or crazy or any of the stupid stuff that our society attaches to introspection.  It just means you’re self aware, consious of your thought processes and how they are generated.  That’s a good thing folks, not a bad one.

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Take a moment, pause your life for just a second and take a good long hard look within.  Why do you do the things you do?  What started those destructive habits you’re trying to fix?  Admitting you have a problem might be the first step to solving it, but I think figuring out the cause of the problem is a very good second step.

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