Jan
14
Losing Friends Over Health?
Filed Under Communication, Motivation
I mentioned in yesterday’s weekend workout that at some point in your pursuit of a healthier lifestyle, you may need to make a choice between health and hanging out with friends. This morning I got an email from a reader who asked me whether I had lost or chosen to lose friends over health. This seemed unreasonable to them and they didn’t think we should make sacrifices like these just to be healthier.
Personal Experience
The answer is, no, I have never chosen to lose a friend simply because I wanted to be healthier. That thought never even occurred to me. What I did do is change the time I spend with my friends. I used to go to the movies with them almost every weekend, spend many late nights playing video games and go to a variety of fast food place.
These days, we still go to movies but much less frequently. Instead, we go hiking every once in a while or spend time at the farmer’s market. I’ve also made better choices in my meal options and I rarely find myself at fast food places. Finally, I have cut down the video game time considerably and replaced it with more quality time at home, with my wife. I haven’t lost any friends and I don’t believe I have weakened any friendships. In fact, I have found my friends to be understanding and supportive of all the changes I am making in my life.
So no, there’s no reason to think that you will lose friends just because you want to be healthier. Who knows, maybe one of your friends will wind up being your gym buddy.
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Comments
3 Responses to “Losing Friends Over Health?”
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I haven’t lost any friends over my healthier living either, but then this post made me wonder… So it’s unreasonable. Okay. Now what if a friend is ‘lost’ over a matter of eating? Doesn’t it mean that the ‘friendship’ was pretty shallow to start with? I mean, if a hypothetical friend gets angry that I don’t want to systematically go with him/her to, say, the fast-food place we used to always go to, and want to do something else instead… this IMHO tells a lot regarding what we were representing for that person, doesn’t it? If all I’m good for is to be a food-companion only, is it really worth going on?
Kery,
I would argue that this person wasn’t your friend to begin with. Being healthy didn’t make you lose that friend, it just made you realize that you weren’t very good friends.
Gal
From my past experience, when one of you decides to become healthier and the other doesn’t, it can create a wedge between the two of you or a realization that you no longer have things in common. It definitely is a test of the quality of your friendship. The only times I have “lost” a friend because I got healthier was because of jealousy. My “friend” was jealous of my new found health and slimmer body, and she would do things to sabotage our friendship. In the end, “true” friends will be happy for you and support you in all your successes, as you will be of them.