7 mistakes to avoid while trying to get healthy. #7, Trying to do it alone.

Thisentryis part 8 of 8 in the series SERIES - 7 things to avoid when trying to get healthy

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We’ve been going over a variety of mistakes people tend to make when they first start getting serious about their health and fitness. Today’s post is the last in this series and will cover how and why you should communicate your goals to the people around you. If you’ve read all the articles in this series you’ll note that I have personal experience with many of these. You may even conclude that I made a lot of mistakes on the path to good health, and you’d be right. This is exactly the reason I started writing 60 in 3, because I wanted to share these experiences so others can learn from them. If you have your own experiences to share, please let me know. You can add them in the comments section of any of these posts or contact me directly. You may think your mistakes are silly or embarrassing, but they contain valuable lessons that the rest of us can learn from. Together, we have an amazing pool of information that we can all benefit from. And now, on to today’s topic.

Going at it alone is more common among men but also widespread among women. It doesn’t specifically refer to getting a “diet buddy” or “workout partner”. Instead, the more common mistake is a simple lack of communication. When we first think about improving our health, we don’t tell others what we’re doing or why, and this ends up hurting us.

Common problems

How many times have you told yourself, “today, I’m going to eat healthy!” only to hear a friend or coworker ask you to lunch at your favorite fried foods buffet? How many times have you told yourself you will avoid high calorie snacks only to visit your mom’s house and see that she’s made your favorite chocolate cake? How often do you make a date with the gym only to hear you friends asking you to go out? All of these are common issues that could be solved with better communication.

Let’s face it, our lives are heavily influenced by the people around us. Our friends, our families and our loved ones have a huge role in deciding how our lives will be run on a day to day basis. From a health perspective, our social circle has a tremendous amount of influence on our eating habits and physical activity. So how can we expect to change our ways when the people who influence our decisions are not aware of what we’re trying to do? How can we expect to eat healthy when the people who help us decide what to eat don’t know what our goals are? How can we expect to live a more physically active life when the people we spend most of our time with still think we’re interested in watching TV all day? If we ask ourselves these questions, it becomes clear that we should communicate better if we hope to make permanent changes to our lives.

Common failures

Unfortunately, while it may seem clear now, it’s not clear to most people. There is a certain level of shame in admitting you’re bad at something. It’s not easy to tell our friends and our family “I’m too fat and out of shape.” We’re admitting to them that we’ve failed at something as basic as keeping healthy. We’re also afraid of insulting them, especially if they’re out of shape too. There could be family issues. For example, will your parents be upset or feel as though you’re blaming them? Will your spouse feel guilty over the meals they’ve chosen? There are dozens of reasons not to communicate, but most of them come down to fear. We’re afraid of being misunderstood, we’re afraid of offending and we’re afraid of embarrassment. That’s all understandable, but it doesn’t change the fact that communication is a must if you hope to get healthy.

What to communicate

The first thing you need to communicate is the why. Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to change your life? For most of us, that will be easy to communicate. Health is a relatively clear topic these days. People know that being out of shape and overweight is bad for you and they’ll understand why you’re trying to get back in shape. In fact, you’ll frequently hear “I’m glad you’re finally doing this. I’ve wanted to tell you something but I was afraid you’ll be offended.”

Next you’ll want to explain the what. What is it that you plan on doing? Are you going to work out more? Are you going to eat better? Make sure people understand what your plan is and how you hope to implement it. Again, this is relatively clear to most people. We know that health means eating better and exercising more, but make sure people understand the specifics. Are you going to be going to the gym? Will you be jogging? Are you going vegetarian? These little details will help them understand what you’re going to be doing. You may even hear some feedback and suggestions.

Finally, you’ll want to explain to them how they can help. How should they behave around you? It sounds a bit silly but you’ll be surprised how useful this part of the conversation is. Can they still have lunch with you? Can they still invite you over for a movie? Can they still have you over for dinner? Do they need to cook something special for you? People have the oddest misconceptions sometimes and it’s good to talk about them ahead of time. By the way, this doesn’t need to be a long conversation where you hand people a list of how to behave around you. It can be something as simple as “for the most part, I’m still the same me. We can go to the same restaurants and I’ll just order something a bit healthier than before. I’m just going to be busy from 6 to 7pm every night because that’s my workout time.”

No preaching

The one thing to watch out for is what I call preachiness. So you’ve decided to get healthy, that’s great. Your friends and family are not going to appreciate you preaching to them about how you’ve seen the light and now they need to follow your example. If you want them to be healthy then lead by example. Do your thing, improve your health and show your friends that it can be easy and fun. Answer their questions but never tell them their way of life is wrong. That’s a mistake I used to make and try to avoid these days. The only thing such an attitude creates is broken friendships and strained family relationships.

Summary

The people around you shape your behavior, and in doing so, they shape your health. Get them involved by communicating and you will turn a potential problem in a significant resource. Remember, they want you to succeed, all you need to do is tell them how they can help.

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