7 mistakes to avoid while trying to get healthy. #6, treating setbacks as failures.

The beginning of this series of articles was a list of the worst mistakes people make when they start working on improving their health. Now I’d like to cover each one of those items in detail, with #6, treating setbacks as failures.

Before I get into the rest of this post, I want to call out a specific comment that was left on the original list that was article 1 of this series.

Hey Gal … followed you here from Simple Dollar. Great blog (and great post on SD).

I actually have most of my issues with #6. I’m knowledgeable, I eat healthy Monday through Friday, but weekends are tough. I even have lean grow protein powder and flaxseed oil for shakes when absolutely needed.

I am of the “meal every three to four hours” mindset, but being a consultant with two jobs doesn’t make this easy.

If I miss a day at the gym or a meal, I pretty much mark the day as failure. After all, if you eat 6 small meals a day and miss one, it’s REALLY hard to get back on track for the day because you’re so hungry.

I guess motivation to continually eat healthy is my issue. When I’m out on the road, it’s too easy (and cheaper) to get a hoagie (sub) from a hoagie shop or some fast food instead of driving all over trying to find something healthy (especially for breakfast).

I would be very interested in your thoughts for meals on the go or meals on the road as this is my biggest hurdle … that and finding healthy food that I can crave!

-eROCK

First, I’m planning to talk about health on the go and how can you stay healthy while traveling as soon as this specific series of articles is done. That means you should see a post about this topic on Thursday or Friday. However, I also wanted to highlight eROCK’s comment because it’s a great example of what I’m trying to illustrate here.

What I advocate here on 60 in 3 is making long term changes to your life. Actually, let me be more accurate. I want you to make changes that are life long, not just long term. Now if I was asking you to do a single thing for the span of a week, then I would expect you to do it perfectly. I have this same expectation of myself and I think it’s perfectly reasonable for something as simple a as a 1 week project. Well, I suppose that depends on the project but still, being perfect on a short term project is not unreasonable. Being perfect for your entire life, well, that is unreasonable, especially when it comes to things like eating and daily activities.

Let’s face facts. As much as we want to be perfect in our workouts and eating, life is life and something will come up. For example, I always workout every weekday. However, Friday of last week, something came up. This particular something was my wedding so it was a little more important than my workout. No problem I say, I’ll make it up by going to the gym tomorrow. Of course, Saturday and Sunday roll by and we’re so busy with parents, arrangements and the reception that I never really got to the gym. So I missed my workout completely and didn’t do my chest and shoulders day this week plus one cardio session. And now the important question, so what?

The difference between setback and failure

So I missed one workout. The question is, what do I do about it? Do I even need to worry about it? Is this a sign of failure somewhere in my plan for health? Should I despair and feel as though I will never accomplish my goals? Well, for me, there is a difference between a setback and a failure.

A setback is something unexpected and unavoidable that happens once in a while. There’s no point in worrying about a setback, it just happens and you move on with your life. I don’t expect to get married every weekend so I don’t think this will recur. In other words, there’s no reason for me to worry. It was a one time occurrence that won’t happen again. I tried to adjust for it but couldn’t. Besides, it was one of the happiest days in my life so there was good reason for this happen. So I just move on with my day to day life, knowing that I didn’t fail and there’s no reason for me to worry, I’m still on a healthy course. This could apply to a wedding, it could apply to the one time you decided to have ice cream or the one day you missed your scheduled bike ride because your kid was sick or needed help with her homework. Basically, a setback is life acting up momentarily, but it’s nothing to worry about because it’s a one time or rare enough thing to be a non issue.

A failure is different. A failure is a major flaw in your plan. You know you should workout but you keep failing to make it to the gym. There could be a very good reason for you to not make it to the gym, but it’s still a failure because your plan itself is failing. A failure is the inability to stop eating candy even though you know you shouldn’t. A failure is the inability to stop eating junk food.

Do you see the difference? A setback was a one time occurrence that really couldn’t be planned for. A failure is a flaw in your plan or your inability to live up to those plans. Not making it to the gym one time because something came up is a setback. Not making it to the gym over and over because you just can’t wake up that early is a failure. Your plans are not working. In fact, they’re failing.

So You Failed, What Now?

The first thing to consider is, was it a setback or a failure? If was just a minor setback then relax and move on. There’s no need to worry about these. If you were really in a hurry and you ate a hoagie, then so be it. One hoagie is not going to kill you. However, if this is something that’s happening a lot, then perhaps you should treat it as a failure, as a sign that the health plans you made are not working. So then what?

Even a failure is not reason to give up. A failure just means your current plans are not working. Ok, so rather than giving up, change those plans. Maybe you need to try working out in the evening rather than in the morning. Maybe you need to try 4 meals instead of 6. Yes, you might need to accept a less than ideal plan, but a less than ideal plan that works for you is much better than an ideal plan you fail at over and over.

Don’t Make A Setback Into a Failure

What you need to avoid is making a setback into something bigger. If it’s a setback then relax and move on. There’s no need to redo all your plan just because of one setback. I’m certainly not going to redo my entire workout plan because I missed on Friday due to my wedding.

Don’t Make A Small Setback Into a Large One

Another thing to avoid is the feeling that one small setback means your entire day is shot. I see this frequently in people who are trying to lose weight. One small mistake at breakfast is marked as a failure for the entire day. That failure is then an excuse to binge. After all, the day is already a failure so it doesn’t matter. I talked about this attitude in a previous post called The Endless Cycle of Binge and Guilt and I recommend you read that.  It’s one of the most destructive things you can do to yourself and there’s simply no reason for it.  So you made a mistake or something came up, so what?  Assess if it’s a setback or a failure, change your plans accordingly if it was a failure and then move on.

Summary

Life is life.  Things will always come up.  Things will always happen when you least expect them to.  Don’t see them as failures if they’re not.  Even if they are then just adjust and move on.  The worst mistake you can make is to blow them up into something they’re not.