United We Stand: How to motivate your friends and loved ones to improve their health

We’ve been talking about getting help from those around you.  We’ve discussed communicating your goals to your family, your friends and your loved ones.  We also talked about the ups and downs of diet and workout partners.  However, what happens when you’re looking to help instead of get help?  How do you communicate to those around you that you want them to improve their health?

Why Help Others? 

First, let’s talk about why you would want to do such a thing.  For many of us who are working on getting healthier, we see improvements in our lives and we want to share them with those around us.  We want them to have the same great feelings we do when we’re done with a workout, or when we finally achieve that goal of running a marathon.  It doesn’t matter if you just started working out or if you’ve been doing it for years, you’ll find yourself wanting to share your successes with others. 

Another reason might be worrying about your friends and family.  I remember how out of shape I was and I worry when I see my friends going through what I did.  I don’t want to lose them and I don’t want them to suffer through poor health.  I want them to improve their life in the same way I did so I can enjoy their company for many years to come.  So you’re in the same situation as me, and you want to help and you have some good reasons for it.  Still, there are a few things to keep in mind.

What Not To Do

It’s important to note that not all lifestyles fit all people.  I’m a vegetarian.  I do it for health and environmental reasons.  I really wish everyone around me would do the same but I know that’s not realistic.  That lifestyle just doesn’t fit everyone.  I also love to work out and I would love to exercise with my fiance, but with our busy lifestyles, different work schedules and her back injury, that’s just not going to happen.  The same is true of you and your loved ones.  Not everything that works for you will work for them.  So if you expect them to copy your lifestyle in every way, you’re going to be repeatedly disappointed.

Also, never preach.  Never tell anyone that they’re doing something wrong.  You’re not going to win that argument.  You can have all the proof you want but you still want convince anyone by telling them their way is wrong.  Even worse, you’re going to make them dislike you.  There’s nothing worse than the self righteous health nut preaching to those around him or her how their ways are bad.

What To Do

Lead by example - Your friends and family notice the little changes.  They’ll see your health improving and they’ll wonder how you’re doing it.  Show them how you’re enjoying your new fitness.  Tell them how much fun you had dancing or hiking.  Don’t complain about the workout, instead, mention how you love that feeling afterwards of having accomplished something tough.  Get them to motivate themselves.

Offer advice when appropriate - When someone eventually talks to you about fitness and how you’ve managed to changes your life, offer some friendly advice.  Don’t talk about revolutionary changes to their lifestyle.  Remember what it was like when you yourself were starting out.  Big changes are daunting and radical life overhauls can seem impossible.  Offer small tips, little things they can do to start improving.

Participate - Don’t just tell someone to go to the gym, go with them.  Show them around.  Work out with them at least a few times until they get used to it.  Go hiking with them rather than just telling them about the trails.  Don’t be afraid of trying new things.  If they tell you they’ve always wanted to try Salsa dancing, go with them even if you don’t know the Salsa from the waltz.  It can be really nice to have someone else with you when you’re trying something new and maybe you’ll learn something new yourself.

Encourage - If someone takes your advice, make sure to keep encouraging them.  Tell them how well they’re doing.  Share with them some of the hard times you had when you were starting out.  Be proud of their accomplishments and compliment them on what they’ve achieved.  A little positive reinforcement goes a long way when you’re starting out.

Offer alternatives - If you see them try and fail, offer new ways or new options.  Again, what works for you may not work for them.  So find new ways of doing things and suggest them as an alternative.  Maybe they don’t like jogging as a form of cardio even though you do.  That’s fine.  Suggest something else and then try it with them.  Remember, the point is to get them to help themselves, not to get them to imitate you.

Above all, remember that these are your friends and loved ones.  You want them to change their way because you care about them, not because your way is right.  Make sure you communicate that and listen when they respond. 

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