Apr
27
Why having fun is scary
Filed Under Exercise, Motivation, Work Out
I’ve been talking all week about fun workouts. Things like dancing, hiking or playing sports. These are all social activities, things you can do with your friends. They seem like the perfect solution to being active, a great combination of workout and fun. Yet most people I talked to are scared to try them out. That made me realize that not too long ago, I would have been scared myself to try these things out and I wanted to share that as well as how I overcame it.
The Good Ole Days
When I was a kid, I loved going outside to play. I grew up in a small agricultural community in Israel. There wasn’t much TV, no video games, the only movie theater played one movie a week and home PC’s were not common. So whenever I had spare time, I would go outside and play. Games ranged from tag and hide’n’seek to soccer and basketball. Each game was different but they were all physically active. We would spend hours running around until the sun set and our parents came to bring us home.
I remained active after we moved to the US. I played tag at school. I joined the local soccer league. I even joined the local swim team. The activities were more structured but they were still fun. I would spend an average of three to four hours after school doing some kind of physical activity. I was never an athlete by the way or a big sports fan, I was just physically active because I enjoyed it. So what changed? How did I go from multiple activities to none?
Growing Up Is Hard To Do
I think the problem was tied into growing up and becoming more aware of myself and others around me. When you’re a kid, you don’t really think about being embarrassed to try something. You do and say the oddest things because you feel like it, with little regard for the consequences. When you grow up, you become more self conscious, more aware of the social pressures around you. I think I can pinpoint exactly when I stopped being physically active if I look at my freshman year.
I was involved in a local swim league. I wasn’t a particularly good swimmer but I really enjoyed it. Then, one of my high school classmates joined my swim league. He was placed in the advanced group while I was still in the average group. It made me feel self conscious. Here was a classmate, someone who saw me every day and he was better than me. I looked around and noticed that on average, the kids in my swim group were about a year or two younger than me. For the first time, I was embarrassed about my swimming skills. Swimming became less and less fun as I imagined my classmate telling everyone at school “wow, that Gal, he’s a bad swimmer.” Was this true? Not at all, but it caused me to quit swimming. I started working out at a gym, alone. Exercise was no longer fun, it was something I did because I thought I should.
In college, I slowly stopped all forms of exercise. I was busy with school and work and I thought “why be physically active? I’m never going to be an athlete. I’m never going to be as good as those guys on the football scholarship.” I focused on studying and went about my daily routine. I was young enough to stay in relatively good shape but I had begun my long slide downhill.
Post College - The Video Gaming Years
After college, I discovered the world of video games. Here was something I could excel at! I might not be a fast swimmer, but oh boy I could really shoot the hell out of those pixels. I devoted hours to the computer. I led a high end everquest raiding guild (and if that means nothing to you, be glad!) I did all those things because I was good at them. My health deteriorated rapidly at this point. Spending all day in a chair is not exactly healthy. My weight reached 270lbs and I was incredibly out of shape.
Looking back, I can see that I played video games for the same reasons as I stopped physical activity, because I wanted to be good at something. I couldn’t be good at swimming so I stopped. I could be the best at playing on the PC, so I did it for ten hours a day. I didn’t do any of these things for fun, and that was my mistake.
The Lesson
I’m not trying to preach to you, just to make you understand something. Getting a healthy workout is not about being #1. If that’s what you’re thinking, you’re already going down the wrong path. These activities I’ve described over the past few days are about having fun. The people who will do them with you are not going to make fun of you. They’re not going to laugh at you and you’re not going to embarrass yourself. I know it’s hard to get over that fear but just keep in mind that you’re not doing this to win and you’re not in it to be the best. You’re doing this simply to have fun, be active and socialize with friends.
Once you figure that out, these activities become a lot less scary. Once you realize that the more experienced dancers, hikers or bikers are not going to make fun of you, you become a lot less shy. Every activity I’ve tried I’ve found experts who were always happy to help. I’ve found communities that welcomed newcomers even if they weren’t very good and might never get better. I’ve found partners and friends who had no problem slowing down, giving me advice or having me step on their toes a few times. This isn’t high school anymore. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you’ll be out there on that dance floor, trail or bike, not worrying about looking bad and simply having fun.
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This is a great article. I have this phobia of working out alone in the gym that probably is related to this (there’s so many other people who are in such better shape than me, they’re probably making fun of me behind my back!). But when I do go to the gym and see someone who is in worse shape than me working out alone, I don’t think ill of them at all. In fact it’s encouraging and makes me want to try harder.
Thanks for the great articles!